Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
girl: ....who?
me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
strippedtease:

at my school today these guys nailed bread to the wall and some ppl were like tru art

strippedtease:

at my school today these guys nailed bread to the wall and some ppl were like tru art

farnilyjewels:

"surprise bit-"

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vandigo:

orgasham:

methlemore:

orgasham:

masturbating-to-your-selfies:

102 chicken nuggets

why would you order 17 of 6 instead of 5 of 20… that shit’s expensive as hell

Getting 2 four pieces is cheaper then 1 6 piece know your nuggets

but getting 1 20 piece is cheaper than 3 6 pieces KNOW YOUR NUGGETS

this is how word problems for math books are started, isn’t it.

actionables:

1lazygenius:

actionables:

MY HOUSE IS FULL OF BEES

DOES THAT MAKE YOU A QUEEN?

you can call me

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jewmanji:

when your friend crops you out of a picture 

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mabapo:

when u go to a restaraunt regularly and order the same thing every time

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marvelentertainment:

This Friday, see what critics are saying is the “Best Marvel Movie Ever” - get tickets now: http://fandan.co/1rxgD29

marvelentertainment:

This Friday, see what critics are saying is the “Best Marvel Movie Ever” - get tickets now: http://fandan.co/1rxgD29

taint3ed:

1hund:

suite-tee:

5thflo:

weeble15:

5thflo:

If ya girl not textin back she got some other nigga dick in her mouth

Or she might be doing something important..

Like tryna make another nigga cum

She could even just be sleeping 😴😴😴

with another nigga

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What’s it mean when a nigga ain’t texting back then? 

perks-of-being-chinese:

shrek needs to chill

perks-of-being-chinese:

shrek needs to chill